Gamergate

So how do I feel about it?  Well, after I heard that the video game industry is pretty much a bunch of cartels, well... that's a world I'm probably never going to be a part of.  I dunno.  Maybe teenage boys will just get tired of the objectification of women!  Well, kids are different these days... shyeah, right.  Well, I'm from the Atari age of video games myself.  Not a lot of sexy girls in those.  Besides, I already knew that the girls didn't like me all that much anyway.  I can only imagine what dealing with sexy girls in video games is like.  How would that translate to the real world?  Probably not well for me.  Someone more handsome and/or dickish could probably pull it off.  I'm more of a Tetris and Doom kind of guy when it comes to video games.  I think men and women should come together and admit that, yes, we have unrealistic expectations of each other, but there's 7 billion of us on the planet, so we must be doing something right!

Whew!  Got through that!  All right, time to sit back and let the accolades roll in............................

Candy Crush ... SODA

Welp, I finally took the plunge (so to speak), but only because I thought there'd be some kind of cross-over deal where you get some Candy Crush bonuses for playing, you know the drill.  Apparently not.  But I'm with all the raving critics: King has another hit on their hands.  This'll be responsible for their second $500,000 a day.  As for me, well, I can only seem to handle one addicting game at a time.  Reminds me!  I gotta play Getaway! some more before going to bed.  Ah, God bless that laptop in my room

1/12/'16 - ....started up again.  I can stop anytime I want.  Well, I'm at level 38, and I'm just wondering if you need three friends to get to the enxt... next stage or whatever.  So far, not!  The Activision Gods are smiling down upon me

1/25/'16... I'm telling you, I've seen that purple octopus before.  Here's what I'm talking about...

 

...creepy, right?  What's the deal with the sexy squid?  So, here's where I've seen it before.

 That's right, it's the 1997 classic film "Men in Black."  Oh, and I colored it purple to make it seem more similar.  Guess I better do the blue head dots next.

3/13/16 3:23 pm

...another thing for Blogger to work on.

3/13/16, 3:23 pm - Welp, finally passed level 284.  Note to gamers and the developers at King alike: if the power goes out a few seconds before the official victory screen, signifying that you've passed the level... it doesn't register.  Not that I'm complaining much, mind you.  And maybe it's just me, but is the Soda version of the cake bomb in regular C. Crush a little rude?  I mean, is it a sphincter from hell or what?  I'm glad it clears the screen and all, but... I'm just sayin'.  I feel vaguely dirty is all.

3/23/'16, 7:50 pm - Welp, it took me about 65 tries, but I finally beat level 328.  Incidentally, they've got a new feature: some angry turtle that will eat any color of candy you pick.  But he'll... and I'm HOPING it's a he... he'll only do this if you get a certain number of the cyan diamond candies.  Makes me think of how on 'Wheel of Fortune' how they give you the RSTLNE up front in the final round, which just means they're picking harder puzzles now... 

3/26/'16 - Something else I just noticed.  When you cross a color bomb and a wrapped candy in the Soda saga, every candy of the crossed candy's color turns into a wrapped candy.  This is now what happens in REGULAR Candy Crush.  What used to happen is that the color bomb would turn into a wrapped candy and knock out two different colors of candies.  Is this going to throw certain levels off now? 

4/23/'16 - You know, they say that Candy Crush Soda is sodalicious, that you can't help but ask, how delicious is it?  Well, it's sodalicious that they keep getting new and exciting characters to come into the Candy Crush Soda universe.  Take this new guy, for instance...

...now where have I seen HIM before?

............................ah HAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BUSS-TEDD!!!!!

5/15/16 - Still going.  I'm assuming it still doesn't work in Google Chrome.  Problems with the background, guys!  Fix it.  MEanwile, it still works in Firefox.  Hard to believe, I know...

8/3/'17 - This is probably a silly question, but... how can every third level be one that you'll have to play for the next month?

2/2/'18 - Dang, but this game's fun to play.  That's the gaming landscape these days for ya.  I was just in my local computer shop today, checking out their most expensive computer.  Three thousand bucks!  For that price, I better not have to bring it in for at least a year and a half... okay, six months.  But I was being completely rude and noisy... nosy, and I clicked on the window in the lower left hand corner, and... guess what popped up?  One of the Candy Crushes!  It's the scourge that's everywhere.

Anyway, for those of you stuck on level 700, fear not, for you've come to the right place.  Of course, part of the fun of playing the same level for a month is figuring out how to beat it, because it seems like all the levels in "Soda" are eventually beatable.  No need to buy powerups or anything like that... just waste / apply your time to it and the solution will present itself.  And you can see from the level preview that there's a predictable pattern for the candies up to a point.  But if you STILL need something a little more, here's the strategy that eventually got me past that darn 700 Club level

STRATEGY To MAXIMIZE PURPLE FISH

1st move: make the vertical line of 3 purple candies

swap 2,4 and 3,4

2nd move: horizontal line of red hots

swap 0,2 and 0,3

3rd: swap 3,0 and 4,0: FIRST FISH!

4th: swap 0,2 and 0,3 (horizontal line of red hots

5th: four more fish!

6th: swap 3,0 and 3,1 to make FIVE FISH!

...at this point, figure out better strategy

7th: swap 2,7 and 3,7 to make lemon fish

8th: swap 4,1 and 4,2 to make green fish

9th: swap 2 fish

More later.

11/3/'19 - Oh, I SO gotta add an entry for this new CCS feature: MOVE RUSH.  First, they warn you that it's coming, and then it arrives!  You get 10 seconds where a move you make doesn't count!  They even put a big infinity 8 on its side up there just for show.  Of course, you gotta play in an extra-fevered way like someone on speed or something... not that I would know, of course.  I prefer chocolate myself.  Think I'll have one right now, in fact!... okay, I guess that's it.  Also, level 1234 is shaped like numerals... try and guess which ones.

Admit it, Ladies..............................

There I go again.  Well, inciting a gender war is a blogger's most important function.  Seriously, though, who plays a game like this?  I bet more ladies play it than males!  Incidentally, why don't they ever have a "Females Only game."  Oh, what, that's not exciting enough?  It's like guys on Facebook who comment on the hot pics of sexy ladies... who would do that?  What's there to gain from it?  Certainly nothing if your boss were to ever read it, unless your boss is Bob Guccione or something.  Guess I'm just conservative that way.  Somehow I don't feel the need to post comments like "Ur so hot" or "Nice boobs."  Sorry, I mean Nice 80085... hmm!  Wonder if I've made a similar comment before.  Gotta be a way to make that process simpler.

Ooh! Quick! Another Firefox game...

Yes, for a limited time only... from the people who brought you Chicken of a Lesser God... is that what it's called?  Lemme check... oh, never mind that!  I just found fukgames.com!  With a name like Smuckers, it's got to be good!

Clearly I Have No Business Doing a Blog Like This

 Really?  $46,000?  And yet, arcades went out of business.  Go figure.  There's no place for kids to just hang out anymore... is there?  I mean, besides illegal drugs.