Atari emulator -> Mars Mission 2: Mars Boogaloo

I knew that was gonna suck.  Well, it's your typical hasty sequel.  Plus, it only takes up about 5K, so of course they're going to skimp on the graphics.  Is it a glorified Super Huey Cobra?  Yes.  And why does it have a score of 7 digits when it takes about 10 minutes to crack 5?  So let's see, it would take about... 160 hours of game play to flip the score?  If memory serves, your ship gets less fuel efficient as the game progresses, so even that may just very well be impossible.  Stick with Caverns of Mars and / or Phobos instead.

Atari Emulator -> Quarxon

While I'm waiting for my 2nd facebook account to load... God, how I love how slow Firefox is.  Must be an extra security feature or something... let me just blog a brain fart or two about Scott Ludwig's "Quarxon."  Pretty slick and sophisticated game play for 16K!  It's one of the great regerts... regrets of my life is that I didn't play the Expert difficulty of Quarxon more often.  No, I was content with kicking the Beginner opponent's ass.  That's just how good the A.I. is in this game.  Well, that, and the red line with gaps in it goes really really fast at the expert level... oh, I mean... Now I'm one of these people who would live their lives completely the same over and over again if I had to, and I probably don't.  But I do consider it one of the great failings of my life that I consistently chose level 0 Beginner of play over level 9 Expert in Peter Fokos' 1982 classic, Alien Ambush.  Scott R. Ludwig's 1982 classic, Quarxon.  I mean, level 9's Expert's hard!  It's hard work!  And plus, you keep getting blowed up and all that!  I just HATE that!  So I'm trying to make up for lost time by playing level 9 Expert now... oh, wait.  I haven't yet.  That's how much I hate it.  So let that be a lesson for you parents out there.  If you walk in on your kids and they're playing video games instead of doing homework, here's what you do.  Ask them if they're playing the hardest level of the game.  And if they're not, you make them play the hardest level, otherwise they can't borrow the car for the weekend.. or something.  Why fight it?  Homework sucks.  All school did for me was reinforce my bad procrastination habits, and get me on a God-awful reunion mailing list.  I keep trying to tell you!  They didn't like me, they tolerated me.  You know, like that one co-worker of yours that everyone hates.  Same thing with school, only there's hundreds more of them.

Atari 8-bit emulator ---> Alien Ambush

I do actually have some fond memories of loading this one into the old Indus disk drive and playing on the old Atari 1200 XL.  Those were the days when you'd have to wait about 20 to 30 seconds for the game to start... maybe a little less in the case of this one.  Oh, it's got everything.  Player missiles, graphics 7, display list interrupts, getting three colors out of two player missiles mashed together, doubling the size of player missiles with the peeking of one poke... I forget those numbers now.  I think 53770 is for a "random" number between 0 and 255.  Ah, brain cells.  How you continue to impress me.
Now I'm one of these people who would live their lives completely the same over and over again if I had to, and I probably don't.  But I do consider it one of the great failings of my life that I consistently chose level 0 of play over level 9 in Peter Fokos' 1982 classic, Alien Ambush.  I mean, level 9's hard!  It's hard work!  And plus, you keep getting blowed up and all that!  I just HATE that!  So I'm trying to make up for lost time by playing level 9 now... oh, and on a technical note, I'm using disk 60 142 from the Mushca collection, because the official unofficial Satan's Hollow Alien Ambush ROM for the Atari emulator doesn't load... oh, right.  I never tried it out.  Might work!

Peter Fokos' profile at something called zoominfo dot com

Alien Ambush's official home at atarimania.com.  The nice thing about atarimania.com is that they organize games into broad categories... or is it?  Doesn't that take away some of the mystery?  Don't we lose something when we gain the organization and collation of all things?  And besides, this is more of a Shoot 'em Up than a Space Invaders clone.  The aliens here aren't as regimented.  Also, I don't feel so bad anymore about not being able to dodge the simple, diagonal paths of things bouncing around in a room... I probably should.  I mean, how hard is it to get out of the way of something coming sort of at you at a rapid pace?

Atari 8-bit Emulator ---> Satan's Hollow

Boy!  This blog post must be cursed!  But by what?  And for whom?  Anyway, while you're waiting for your flaky quote unquote "Facebook friends" to send you new lives 'n stuff, sometimes you just gotta blast some daemons.  Especially if they're in control of your network.  Well, that's where "Stan's Hollow" ... "Satan's Hollow" comes in.  I never played this one in the arcade, mind you.  If they were making this one today, you'd definitely go up that hill in your ship to the big house!  No, this is the minions of Hell in the guise of a Space Invaders - Phoenix - Gorf type deal here.  Demon Attack, but with the big man himself.  I'm getting good at hitting him just after the theme song finishes.  Shoot at the thousands digit at the right moment, and you'll hit him, and avoid all that red spear and yellow sphere nonsense.
Now I'm one of these people who would live their lives completely the same over and over again if I had to, and I probably don't.  But I do consider it one of the great failings of my life that I consistently chose level 1 of play over level 9.  I mean, level 9's hard!  It's hard work!  And plus, you keep getting blowed up and all that!  I just HATE that!  So I'm trying to make up for lost time by playing level 9 now... oh, and on a technical note, I'm using disk 60 from the Mushca collection, because the official unofficial Satan's Hollow ROM for the Atari emulator doesn't load.  Okay, on to the next.

MAME -> Gauntlet 2 (Gauntlet Boogaloo)

As with all the great sequels, they're exactly like the first, but with a few new tweaks, and Gauntlet II follows firmly in that tradition.  Somehow a sequel to Marble Madness was never called for, go figure.  Many of the levels of Gauntlet I and Gauntlet II are quite similar, especially the first one.  There's just something about being able to jump to level 8 that's too compelling of a choice.



Level 2: Stun tiles, force fields... kinda boring
Intro to lobbyists... lobbers

Level 3: "It", acid puddles to make sure you spend PLENTY more quarters

Level 4: moving exits, super sorcerers, moving walls, death much faster!  Also, have to wait longer to get key doors to disappear

level 5: poison potions... shoot them!  Reflecting shots, singing/moving walls, ... something else

Level 6: electronic voice says "Let's see you get out of here."  And for good reason!  All the walls are invisible!!!!!!

level 7:

level 8: transporter charm... which means you can't pick up anything either!  Boo.  Also, mugger intro

level 9: hmmm!  Looks like a similar level from Gauntlet 1!

level 10: Green fuzzy walls!  I can't take it!!!
10 super shots... also, looked similar to Gauntlet 1 level

Treasure room: I hate these now

level 11: fuzzy brown walls!  I can't take it!  Also, Warriors apparently can't shoot anything surrounded on four sides by walls... diagonally, that is...

level 12: first appearance of transporters, apparently.  Looks a lot like level 8 in Gauntlet 1!  First red dragon.  Also, they seem to have invented telefragging

L13: ...nothing new, I guess

Treasure room: I hate these now

l14: extra food added for 3 or 4 players... because there's already plenty of ways to hemorrhage health points.  Take that DRAGON, for example!

l15: Repulsiveness - at least, to the enemies.  More 10 power shots!  Love those thingies... except when they destroy treasures 'n stuff.

l16: moving exits again. phuck.  There's a long hallway filled with keys, and a golden potion at the end of it... for whatever reason, I want to get that potion.

l17: power shots are too powerful.  They destroy unshootable food, chests... everything!  Everything except walls!

l18: meh.  At least it wasn't a Gauntlet 1 level

treasure room: exits move around.  Perfect

l19: traps galore.  12 chests at the end! love it!

l20: shots now hurt other players... guess I should work on getting some!

L21: Invulnerability... interesting definition of it.  It means you lose 300 health points, but at a regulated pace.  Terrific.  Also, it seems to look like a Gauntlet 1 level...

l22: oops!  Left too early

treasure room - dang!  It was actually like a normal Gauntlet 1 treasure room! 

l23: shots now hurt other playears.   Damn.  I'm playing by myself like an idiot.
Lemme guess.... the red dragon's guarding the real exit.  Big surprise.... not the case!  Also a big surprise

l24: Has anyone EVER found the hidden potion?

l25: don't be greedy... guess I'll never get to that secret room.  Oh well.  C'est la vie
...wow!  Thought I'd never get out of there!

l26: now that DEFInITELY was a Gauntlet 1 level, just flipped on its proverbial head

treasure room: hoh boy, here we go.... jeebus, but I hate that little blue thief.  Room: lattice of chambers with trap tiles

l27: another G1 classic

l28: meh.  but lots of those super shots!  well, just 20

l29: super-fast monsters!!!

treasure room: lucked out that time!

l30: tip: stall to open doors.  I ought to try that sometime!
See, this level is designed so that you have to use reflecting shots to get the monster generators.  Maybe that works with more than one player, but here's the thing: you have to get up close to the monster generators to destroy them, on account of the monsters it generates blocking the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

l31: this level's tip: add coins fo rextra health... already thought of that.  Ooh!  The guy burped when he et some food!  Love it.
Fast demons 'n $#!t... stuff.

damn.  left too early

l32: another G1 classic

l33: meh

l34: keys galore

treasure room: what could go wrong in here?
lots of stun tiles here..  At least I got a couple keys.  You get to keep those.

l35: 4 corners... a death in every corner, and a potion to kill them

l36: ...must've been meh.  already forgot

l37: kinda simple!  Great place to collect keys.  Seriously, check the right side; other unlocked door side.  It's all open.


treausre room" made it!
L38: ah, more fake exits.. love those

l39: oh my God... they invented Sokoban!

l40: genius. .. I forget why.  Oh, right; you need that stupid transporter charm to get to secret room.  Only one!  What if you've got four of you?

treasure room: these must be getting easier or sumpthin

l41; not a G1 level

l42: faster monsters, fake exits, not G1... oh crap.  Time to do an excel spreadsh!t?

l43: meh. also the little blue tucker got me

l44: there's a lot of the level that I missed, but apparently it wasn't meant to be because where the exit is located has no way back out.

l45: stupid red dragons

treasure room: well, at least I got that little blue huckster

l46: meh.  this is boring already

l47:

l48: sort of like a similar G1 level

treasure room: just barely made it... so, why is there that 4 second countdown when it shows you the points you scored?

l49:

...;l51: subtle!  You have to keep trying the transport until you appear on the other side of it, and with the exit

treasure room: quick!

l52:


l62: actually got to a secret room!  kinda coo!  Don't know what the hell I did, of course...

l88; I feel like I could play this one forever... and I might have to, too!  Especially since I'm depending on the randomness of these stupid red transports and what not......

l78: a thousand fake exits... too bad I'm not going to remember where the real one is!

l79:

l121: Ah!  I've missed the hedge walls.  Also, I think I know how to defeat the little blue fuc... the blue thief.  Because he's a little tougher now.  If you shoot at him, he runs the other way.  Here's how to fix that: get yourself in a crowd of ghosts or some such thing; grunts, maybe.  The thief will come up through the ranks, killing grunts or other monsters for you... even Death!  What's THAT all about?  Anyway, the monster generators will make fresh monsters that walk up behind the thief, thereby preventing him from running the other way when you shoot.  Problem solved; maybe you hang on to your extra speed for a couple levels, who knows.  They love taking that one away right away, apparently

l122: I dunno....  somehow these shootable walls aren't as fun a feature as I thought they were going to be.  And somehow, the gamemakers themselves knew that instinctively as well, because Gauntlet's all about fighting the clock.  You pay 25¢ for 700 hit points, which effectively gives you 700 seconds of game play.  Now I gotta spend part of that time shooting at all the walls to see which one's a secret?  No think you!

L148: This level is taking wAY too long... WAY WAY too long...... whew!  Just finished.

l149: it says "To enter secret room: don't be fooled."  Welp, didn't make it to that secret room!  Big surprise... ah, they're overrated anyway.  The first thing they take is your speed.

l151: oh boy!  That one again with a million fake exits.  Fortunately, I got a screen cap of it... hopefully the NEXT one is in the same place....

l160: Oh, great!  The grunts now go FASTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!

l178 treasure room - 24 seconds!  Wow!  An upgrade!  Still couldn't do it, though.

;l190: yeah, this is a repeat level, but it's that fun one where you depend on the kindness of the strange transporters.  So far, they haven't been so kind.  What is it about those transporters and diagonal walls that makes such a toxic combination?

l209: Here's something I just noticed... you can't fight hand-to-hand with Super Sorcerers.  But I'm just a Warrior.  Incidentally, when the axe bounces off the wall back at you and hits you, how do you not lose points?  I just tried it in real life and..................

damn.  I just had to try it.  Welp, found out the hard way.  Saved states don't work for Gauntlet 2.  Probably for the best.  I have to reboot anyway.

Facebook -> Bubble CoCo

...oh!  Neat!  To be perfectly honest, I... and maybe I'm alone on this... but I was expecting something more like this...

Is that asking so much?  Apparently.

Atari 8-Bit Emulator -> E.T. Phone Home

Just a warning up front here: this isn't about the disastrous Atari 2600 E.T. game.  This is about the one for the family of Atari 8-bit computers that languishes in obscurity.  Well, I'm going to change all that with my map of... oh, crap.  Left out the middle.