Huh?

Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned stickler for spelling errors. I guess a "perman00b" is nerd slang for a... a wussy? Get out of the office every once in a while, guys!

BieberVille?

phooey. Maybe it means nothing, or maybe someone's finally hacked my account. I would imagine a blog about video games would have that happen to it...
Anyway, is it BieberVille or not? Too many games... and I'm still too far behind my damn homework. It's where I'm used to being, really.

Atari Emulator -> Electrician

I just wanted to get this image of David Bunch's Electrician since it kinda matches my blog background. Laterz!

2/13/15 -  Guess I didn't talk about this one a whole lot.  I just wanted to say that, while I personally didn't hack Electrician and distribute it on the grey market, I did manage to write a program to look at the file I did get, and there was a short message buried deep within the mix of STAs and LDAs that said something like "IF YOU'VE HACKED THIS GAME, PLEASE SEND A DONATION TO DAVID BUNCH" with an address somewhere in California.  Alas, I wasn't enough of a computer geek to actually do it.  Very few of these guys became Sid Meier, unfortunately, but who knows?  Maybe he's doing well!
Also, one of the things you might not know about this game (and probably don't care, more likely) is about the alligators in the sewers.  All you have to do is avoid their mouths.  Pretty easy to do.  Much easier than jumping over the scorpions in Pitfall 1.  By far.  And every time you walk over an alligator, it will stop... then start up again after about three seconds.  Now, if you do this enough times... they get hella fast!  One of the reasons I love this game.  Maybe I'll try that with my emulator version now.  I got some down time!  Can't bring myself to study for my big accounting test on Wednesday, apparently.
9:21pm - ...okay, it takes about 80 times.  SO worth it, though.

More Doom 95

You know, there comes a time in every blogger's life when they can't help but type... no, I'm not going to do it. I've wasted enough time already. Besides, doesn't that happen after the first couple weeks? I've been blogging off and on for FIVE f... wonderful years! I should be used to the lack of attention by now. Anyway, another wasted night. Seems like I can't get any homework done. I did some reading! And then it was all Tetris Battle, FarmVille, and a little Doom II. I never thought I'd say this, but... I think I'm tired of Doom II! At least, my hands are. Stretching to reach the 'Ctrl' button. My eyes aren't vacillating quickly back and forth yet, but it's probably not far off. I've definitely got some kind of a headache in my eye. I got as far as the 'Tenements' level. They don't have all the baddies in the Windows 95 version of Doom II. I was waiting for that yellow sprinter thingie that can bring other creatures back to life at the beginning of the 'Suburbs' level... but no such luck. It wasn't there. Just like the big spider or the big missile-shooting daemon wasn't in the 'Refueling Base' level. Oh, I'm just trying to get the search engine's attention, aren't I? I still can't believe I missed so many of the hidden things. I remembered the important one, though: the one that takes you to Wolfenstein and Grosse. Good times. Gotta run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sequel Fever

Welp, it's not the ideal situation, but it's something. Screw homework!... gotta make it quick. Someone's coming. But while I'm trying to finish my f... darned ol' thesis, I gotta play me some Gubble II and some Doom 2. After the movies tonight! Reminds me...

Atari Emulator ---> Castle Wolfenstein

Can't seem to get to work. But I did get some video game playing done! Castle Wolfenstein, for example. I finally broke down and went to the Atarimania site to get it... close enough. Ah, that takes me back. The game seems a lot less epic now that I don't have to wait for the disk drive to keep loading the next room. Why, that's a good three or four seconds! And then you have to react to the guard walking right into you. And quickly, too. Otherwise, you get caught. And once you're caught, it's back down to Private. No matter what rank you get... I finally remembered that you have to press "Start" to shoot your gun, and "Option" to lob a grenade. Makes perfect sense. I gotta go.

Atari Emulator ---> Ghost Encounters

I didn't save a picture of it. Shame on me. Well, I was mildly freaking out last night. When it says 800 OS-B, it MEANS 800-OS B! All t's dotted, all i's crossed... all hyphens in the right place. Ah, another blast from the past. I dare say the action in Ghost Encounters is more ferocious than the so-called "Action Quest"! At least... no, not just that one! There's one where you have to keep shooting at walls, making them bounce away from you. I always like to overstudy stuff, but there's things here worthy of overstudy, especially for the sit-com writer. You gotta exploit every last un-thought of opportunity these days on TV! So even though the "Ghost Encounters / Action Quest" duet is an ol' dorky thing in Graphics 7, it's still mentally stimulating enough to go back to... at least for me. I've probably got a simple mind.

(9/21/14) - Let the overanalysis begin!

Level 1 - ...clearly, takes the longest time to draw.  Damn locks.
Tight Squeeze - Your first shapeshifting challenge to get through the special ghost-proof walls.  On the Atari emulator, for me anyway, it's the '=' key for vertical, and the '*' key on the 10-Key pad for horizontical.  Piece o'cake.  If I were a pianist, I could reach both of those keys with one hand a little better.
Jumpies - Good name!  All these rooms have a certain simplicity to them, and this one certainly is, save for the behaviour of the two baddies involved.  One comes after you, one makes sure you have to get through it to get to the prize.
Pirates Treasure - Alas, you have to turn yourself into a shovel to get to the door... but isn't it so worth it?
Pirates Treasure -> Blocked.  Once you dig your way to the door (being careful not to erase said door in the process) it's time for a little randomness to make things more exciting.  All you have to do is get to the right side of the room without getting stopped by one of the randomly appearing walls, then get back over to the left side of the room again, avoiding the same problem.  Boy!  I never realized being a ghost was so damn hard!!!
Bombs Away - Can you make it through the room without getting hit by falling minus signs of two different thicknesses?  Well, CAN you?

Level 2 - easier to draw
Wrong Way - ...wait, it just came back to me.  Fortunately, the bad guys don't come at you as ferociously as this one does... save for the walls in "The Other Way", of course.  This seems to be the only level where the side of the door you pick matters.  Use the name of the room to figure it out...
Determined Advance - Every game programmer for Atari had to cope with the fact that player/missiles were stripes of eight pixels wide, and 256 pixels tall.  What better way to go through that phase than with a game?  Laser Gates sorta did it as well.  Alas, our gunslinging ghost caught between worlds can't do as much damage as the ship in Laser Gates.  Also, some of these rooms have doors that lead to the other four rooms.  Makes it easier; the programmers decided to go with that to make the gameplay a little less tedious.
Not Much Here - Oh, but isn't there?  A bad guy that looks like a turnip; plus, you gotta figure out which tool to use.  I'll give you a hint: 'T' for torch.
Not Much Here -> A Gift... no, you gotta figure this one out for yourself.  It's just that good.
An Opening - More 'Blocked'-style randomness, but with bad guys!  Reminds me of William Mataga's Shamus.

Level 3
It Won't Always Pop - ...that's what she said!  Drumroll... seriously, though, I think they're referring to the randomness of the prize's position.  It won't always be where you'd like it to be to shoot at it, and it won't always be readily available to be grabbed, especially if you shoot down at it, der.  I guess that's part of the fun or something.
Caged In - A lesson in mutualism or symbiosis.  But really, aren't all relationships this way?  He needs to be released from behind a wall, she needs a big strong Pac-Man to chew through a box so that the gift is exposed.  But who can say what the gender roles are anymore in this crazy world on the verge of losing most of its great beachfront property?
Beat This One - A lesson in passwords, or maybe it's a metaphor for safecracking.  It's kind of a pain in the ass either way, as the unlocking mechanism clearly doesn't provide enough clues.  Oh, and you have to turn yourself into another tool.  I'll give you a hint: it's not the torch.
Beat This One -> Congratulations.  Meh.
Always One Left - This one fiddles with the bad guy dynamics.  Normally, you shoot the bad guy, and the bad guy freezes, changes to a slightly darker shade of its original color, then vanishes after about a second or so.  Welp, the third part is on hold here, spoiler alert, and it just couldn't come at a worse time.

Level 4
Take a Dive - Similar to Caged In, except it's a one-shot type of deal.
Back to Basics - Indeed.  But it's a lot like Wrong Way in certain parts, as the game player gets to exploit the bad guy's weakness for following your movements too closely.
Play the Odds - Ghost Encounters's tribute to Pachinko, or Plinko on The Price is Right.
Well Guarded - Man, it took me forever to figure this one out.
Well Guarded -> Blockers - The only instance of one room depending on what goes on in another room.  I'll leave it at that.

Level 5
The Right Order - More literal than Beat This One, anyhow.
The Right Order -> Smash - Ah, Frogger.  How Seinfeld re-immortalized you
The Beam - Time to use the magnet!  Diabolical
The Other Way - For the lazy like me, this one might kill you right away.  But eventually you'll learn how to shoot left and right at the proper moments.
Obstacles - And finally... the game's last secret.  This requires a good understanding of ghost physics as decreed by the rules in Ghost Encounters.  Dare I spoil it for you?  Okay, one hint: it has to do with the purple doors...........

Atari Emulator ---> Robbo

Just spent about 15 minutes getting sucked into a Polish video game.  Well, sometimes you gotta see how the other half lives.  Smacks a bit of Boulder Dash, except that you can shoot stuff. I don't know how to get past the magnets. A Polish Atari game called Robbo. No wonder there's all the Polish jokes: the language's too damn complicated! Fortunately, I was aided somewhat by a Polish-English translator. God bless you, the World Wide Web. And this was the real deal, not a fake one that gives you Polish jokes when you enter a phrase you want translated to English. So many of those on the web, so few e-cops to stop 'em. Bastards!

11/30/'20 - Better let this go the way it was.  It was a different era, but Robbo still exists.  I can't believe I got up to the magnets; more late night gaming, I'm afraid.  The one I'm currently playing is on Mushca Disk 136.  And as with Boulder Dash, there's all manner and kind of cheap knock-offs, or hackers who made their own levels... there's this thing, but evidently it's not a level editor.  Not quite the action of Boulder Dash, but it does step on the toes of Sokoban a little bit... or more than a little bit.  Some of Robbo's enemies move like the enemies of Boulder Dash!  You can't expect these things to be totally original.  I got up to level 15, I think!  Back to it.

12/5/'20 - Sneaky!  I had to rely on YouTube to figure out Level 22.  There's my Achilles' Heel for you, hackers.  Use it to divine my password.  👀

Robbo's Wikipedia Page

Atari emulator -> Pharaoh's Pyramid

And finally, we come to the latest Q*Bert clone, Pharaoh's Pyramid. For those of you still trying to enter the contest, the secret word is "Riches." I have to retrain myself now, because I can only use the 1,3,7 and 9 keys to move... nah, not worth it... oh, and by the way!  Like Q*Bert, Pharaoh's Pyramid has a handy thing on the screen that tells you what color to change the cubes to.  And UNLIKE Q*Bert, you can ACTUALLY JUMP ONTO IT in Pharaoh's Pyramid... I forget if it changes the whole dynamic of the game or not.

Atari Emulator -> Equestrian

I'm hoping that, by writing these blog posts, I'll be able to jump back onto my homework... nah. Who'm I kidding? Anyway, I always thought all the illegal copies of Atari games I got were pretty frickin' awesome. There were just ones I would tend to avoid a lot, like Equestrian. It's basically Zaxxon, but with a horse. Quite musical, though! But see, it rewards you with music when you screw up. A little bass-ackwards.

Atari Emulator: Cosmic Glob(e)

Ah, I vaguely remember playing this on the Atari emulator. See, for those of you who remember, getting the rainbow effect in your own program was a big pain in the... I was never able to do it, anyway. Not without pulling Atari's groin. Don't know how Activision was ever able to do it, and hold it still, but God bless 'em! They built a whole company around it.
Anyway, this is the kind of game I just love. A shoot 'em up actioner where you're forced to make tough choices. And you always gotta keep moving. Moving in those eight old directions. If you shoot the two things in the center of the screen, the glob is instantaneously rejuvenated. Much like the last level of ... Gorp? The glob has a nougaty vulnerable center that you must shoot your way through to get at. But watch out for the deadly C floating around the screen! Sometimes it turns into a U, or a backwards D with the stick missing, or a giant lowercase n. You get the idea. Also reminds me of the big final spaceship you have to shoot at with a missile in Time Pilot 84. Love that game. It's forever enshrined on celluloid in the movie The Last Starfighter... but it's hard to play that way. Gotta get my PC arcade emulator up and running again! Vista puts the kibosh on it. And much like Gridrunner, Cosmic Glob(e)'s Level 30 is basically virtually impossible. Not only that, the glob leaves horizontal lines in its wake! Holy malfunctioning Player/Missile, Batman! I gotta go...

JV Software---> Action Quest

Gotta get my JV on. Love the whole dorky trilogy: this, Ghost Encounters and Journey to the Planets. Like most people, I only recently figured out how to finish that pesky last level on JttP... damn! Still can't remember how to do it. If I was REALLY good I'd look for a link to it right now... ah, God bless YouTube. This is the one I always had trouble with. How do you capture video like that?

9/21/14 - Let the overanalysis of Action Quest begin!

Level 1 - similarly complex like the Level 1 room of Ghost Encounters.  Wonder which came first?  Notice the sound goes down here, while in G.E. it goes up.

Bountiful Bullets - similar to Bombs Away, except they go side to side instead of making it rain.
Bountiful Bullets -> Disappearing Doors.  So, B.B., D.D.  Good double bill.
Boxed In - Not as good as "Caged In" from G.E.  You gotta do all the work your own damn self!
The Magic Touch - Ah, I remember it well.  You gotta shoot the prize out of the way, you see......... why, they oughta call it...
Looks Too Easy - It basically is.  The only trick is that enemies appear after you get the prize, and the time goes kinda fast.

Level 2
Two Roads - Even Robert Frost would... hate this level.  No, it's good.  Better be fast, though!  The time goes far too quickly.
Two Roads -> Fortified Faces.  Kinda like "Always One Left" from G.E., only a little less strategy involved.
Radioactive Room - Here's a twist.  A prize that shoots at you!
He Can Disappear - That's what she said!  Anyway, yes, I guess it's a variation, technically.  One of the baddies that comes sailing at you kinda strobes on and off.  Otherwise, a pretty normal level.
Too Many Doors - Should've spelled doors with a 'z'

Level 3 - The couch potato theme continues
What Do I Do In Here - That's what he said!  Seriously, though, another puzzle.  Kinda like "The Right Order" from G.E., except you are now the bullet.
What Do I Do In Here -> You Earned This One - what a reward, too.
Speedy Little Devils - Kinda like "The Other Way" from G.E., except it's little devils and not whole walls, they don't come at you as fast, and they keep reappearing until you leave.
What Prize - Glory, of course!  Opposite of "Looks Too Easy" from... A.Q.!!
Push Em Back Push Em Back - A variation on "The Other Way"

Level 4
Can't Take This Away From Me - Pushing the length of room names again!  The way we danced til 3... another unique take on things: the bad guy's holding the prize!
Sliding Wall - reminds me of that Slalom game for the 2600... Street Racer?
You Have To Work On This One - It's "Well Guarded" all over again
You Have To Work On This One -> Why Can't I Shoot - That's what he said!  I got a million of 'em
He Only Looks Dead - Geez.  Nice name.  Variation on "Always One Left", but with one bad guy.

Level 5
A Puzzle To Unlock - Kinda like "Beat This One," but stuff doesn't disappear.
A Puzzle To Unlock -> Hurry Up - Seriously, hurry up!  You get like, five seconds to do it.
Diagonal Dilemma - ...I'm sorry, that's "Dilemna."  Love it.  Well, there was no spellcheck for the Atari, basically.  Reminds me of that game for the 2600... Combat!  The tank game!  Love it.
Apparently, this one doesn't have the randomness of "Sliding Wall," but it's still the toughest level for me.  Oh, why do I always give my secrets away like that?  My vulnerabilities?  If you want to get me, just come at me diagonally.  I'll roll over like an ol' bitch dog getting its belly scratched.
I Gave Them Guns - An ode to the NRA, clearly.  The enemies disappear a second and a half after you hit them, but they keep firing until they disappear, so look out.
A Puzzle To Unlock -> P Stands For Prize.... and it really does, too!  Kinda like "Looks Too Easy," except the baddies are the same shape, and they come at you right away, albeit slowly.

Kewl!  I got "Expert" and "Wizard" rank!

Atarimania link to the JV Software trilogy

Crypts of Plumbous

F--- me. It just gets worse.
I hate to drop the f-bomb here, even in this new gilded age, but here's reason #2 to loathe the very thought of Crypts of Plumbous. It's like a survey! Extremely disagree, disagree, neither agree nor disagree... except it's easy and tough instead of agree and disagree. Besides, even on the easy level you can only scoure about 59 points! Maybe I'll just try it to see how tough it is... ACK!!! WHAT AM I DOING???
That's how it starts. I gotta end.

Note to self: good website... maybe

http://ekranownia.atari8.info/gallery.php?lt=c&pg=2

Crypts of Plumbous

God, I hate Crypts of Plumbous.
I'm about to go to bed here, but before I do, I just wanted to check in and say that. I'll even say it again... God damn, do I hate Crypts of Plumbous.
At least I didn't pay $34.95 for it back in the day! That would've been the worst.
To be fair, though, this is probably the best game that Cosmi ever put out... no, that's going too far. I do kinda like Forbidden Forest, even though that's fraught with its own unique problems, but it has some entertainment value. And you gotta love that song they play after each level.
So, to reiterate and conclude for the evening... Jesus Christ, I cannot stand Crypts of Plumbous.
Good night.

Tetris Battle, FarmVille and thou...

Wait a tic! I can't have the same title twice, can I? Sigh. Same games as before. Tetris battle, FarmVille... well, this is something new, innit? Video games you can play for the rest of your life, as you wait for the abscess of energy, or tokens, whatever, to fill anew. Wonder what Daniel Goleman thinks of all this? As for FarmVille, well.... they've gone too far with this whole pig breeding and sheep breeding wrinkle to it. Evil scientists!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. bedtime

Yeah, that's great. How's your padded cell these days? Are they keeping the padding fresh? Hosing it down daily?

Tetris Battle, FarmVille and thou...

Dare I wait another 2 minutes? In 2 minutes, I'll be up to 5 points in my Tetris Battle, which means I can play another round. I just played 20 or so... maybe 21. I've got it down to a science. See, I'm at 95 "points" now. For 5 points, you can play for 2 minutes, which means about 38 minutes of play for 95 points. 25 minutes means 5 more points... did it stretch out to 50? That can't be right. I lost a couple of the rounds due to the board filling all the way to the top. Even now I gotta work on my game method. Guess I earned just enough to play one extra game, and barely got to a second. No, I've gotta make Daniel Goleman proud of me.
What else? Well, I guess it was a matter of time before they came up with a game called "Disco Empire." The 70s will never die. Can the 80s boast of such a trend? Besides MTV Empire? Somehow, it's just not the same. Rather, it's just not as iconic. Or epic. Guess that's about it. I gotta get my sorry ass to bed. But first! One last game of PC-emulated Super Breakout. Love that ol' Atari 2600 game.

Lunar Leeper 'n friendz

When it comes to video game plots, is there anything that's more of a pain in the ass than saving the human race? Choplifter, Mike Potter's painful Protector series, and this. Lunar Leeper. God, I love this game. Doesn't work quite as it used to in emulator form, but never mind. Round one is such a bore. Round two goes so quickly, but as the game progresses they at least try to make round two as unendurable as round one is. This is one of those games in slow, grainy Graphics 8 that used the slowness of drawing the graphics as its clock, so if there's nothing going on on the screen at the moment, the action speeds up and gets crazy fast. But there is an ecological component to the game, which I like: you can't just run through and blast all the bad guys, as much as you'd like to, as it means loss of later reward. But as the game progresses and you lose more and more ships, I suppose it's a temptation and a necessity. All right, back to the homework... after I do my FarmVille chores! My carnation tea's almost done!

...oh, and the "music" sounds like Dangerous Dave.  Right?  No easy way to compare it, except maybe on YouTyube...yup, they got it

Lunar Leeper on YouTube
Dangerous Dave on YouTube

Facebook-->GameDuell-> Jungle Jewels

What is it about pairing three gems in a row on a grid that's got the gaming community so excited? Why, I ain't played good ol' Jungle Jewels in many a moon! Or a month. Damn. Gotta wait 16 more minutes before my carnation perfume in FarmBook is done. Also, I'm close to 750,000 gold pieces, which means I can finally expand my British farm for the last time. Don't want to spring for the 100 farmville cash to go all the way, but that's just me, the cheapskate gamer. But back to Jungle Jewels. The song is still the same, that's always good. Brings back all those memories of frustration. I didn't think I'd be able to complete all four levels, but I just barely did, and I played one last game so I wouldn't feel like I'm some kind of game junkie, playing only until I win. I lost that last one.
Welp, that's about it for Jungle Jewels. Back to the homework...

Ah! There it goes

Yup! Time to officially quit. You know it's time to stop staring at a computer screen for a couple hours when your eyes start shimmying back and forth at about 6 times a second, and you start to feel sea sick as you fight it. Must also be a sign of old age, or at least impending old age. Man! What if I get a 9 to 5 job again? What the hell am I going to do? Learn to type with my eyes closed?

Jewel Quest III: The Good One

Would they kill me if they knew? While I struggle to get re-interested in my thesis, I can't help but waste some time with some diversions. I recently delved back into the seamy underbelly of HP Games. I played a little Jewel Quest 1, but got intrigued by Jewel Quest 3. That's the plain vanilla JQ3, not JQ3 Solitaire, or whatever the hell other variations there are. Too many. Alas, I've already maxed out my free play. It'll cost me $6.99 to invest in a JQ3 all for my own. Dare I?
I dare not. Why, they should be paying ME, damn it! Anyway, I've got more Tetris Battle to get out of my system. I yearn to be at the point in my life where I can buy the 7-day ticket and play practically indefinitely. Alas, my social contacts simply won't allow it. My day's already subdivided into discrete units that belong to customs such as meals, gym and school attendance, and TV watching. Play Tetris Battle for seven days non-stop. The very idea! Why, my eyes would probably go completely bleary! They're a little bleary right now. I don't know exactly why. I thought I got enough sleep. Guess not. Okay, back to the games.