STELLA! Or Returning to the 2600

 At long last!  The "Racing" feature of Candy Crush Soda has come to the realm of Candy Crush Jelly.  It's times like this when I go back, mostly because I realized I still had my old 2600 emulator with the bad sound on the hard drive.  It's all there!  Demons to Diamonds (TM)... more or less.  Gotta fix that.  Space Invaders with the farting spaceship, Defender, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man... 729 ROMs in all, and no time to play them.  I had to try and beat Demon Attack, of course.  I think it's the eighth level with the teentsy, weentsy aliens that still turn into two bats.  That level got to me, but I tried again and somehow triumphed!  Nice variation on Space Invaders; in the Space Invaders canon, it carves out its own niche somewhere between Galaxian and Phoenix.  I think we can all agree that Phoenix blows chunks, especially given the import given to the phrase "Rising like a Phoenix" in our culture... okay, just played it again.  Doesn't blow as many chunks as I thought.  Besides!  What's more thrilling to a gamer than blowing off the left wing of a demon, then the right wing, then the demon head itself? Well, with a demon like that, you don't just kill it all at once!

Windows -> 3d Pinball: Space Cadet

 

Come gather 'round, Grandchildren, and listen to this old fogie's tales of how Windows used to be more fun.  How you could waste hours upon hours on the simple joys of their built-in technologies like Solitaire and Hearts and Minesweeper.  And they are technologies; make sure to call them that during your job interviews.  

Now they're all gone!  You want your gaming fun, and it's Facebook and Facebook alone where you'll find it.  Or maybe... what's the new GameBoy?  Is it all just on your Smartphone (TM) now?  Anyway, a few Windows iterations ago, they had this here 3D Pinball deely-bopper... and no, it wasn't real 3D, just this flat 2D thing, but it's not bad!  If you're in to that sort of thing.  Reminds me of Atari's terrific Super Sprint video game; that kind of 3D.  And, in addition to being impossible and frustrating, like real pinball, there's also power-ups, different levels, different hierarchies.  Every bumper and ramp's got some kind of system, much like the Sock and Pillow Fight games on Facebook... is poking an actual game yet?  No one does that anymore?  Thank God!  I've only made it to the rank of Ensign, so clearly I don't have what it takes to make it as a space cadet, not like Richard Branson et alia.  But they do keep pretty good track of high scores; unfortunately, you have to add your own timestamp to them.  But the big, big question is: how did I resurrect this game?  I managed to save enough of the old game files to do it; I know, shame on me.  Whelp, I figure the damage is pretty localized; as for Cinematronics making a buck, well... sorry, guys, but the work's going to really have to be its own reward here.

Atari Emulator -> Tutti Frutti

Since I'm running out of Atari games to geek out about, why not pick this one?  I may have seen the ads in one of the old Atari magazines, either Compute or Antic, as those were the ones I was very familiar with.  Can't even remember how; must've been that Atari guy our family hooked up with oh so many moons ago.  But again, like Kid Grid, note the disparity.

So, this is an original Ross painting... that's Scott Ross, not the zen figure of Bob Ross, everyone's favorite dead painter.  You got the big happy face, the promise of ice cream, a birthday cake, and even though this painting's got more colors than the Atari could actually handle, there's the promise of a fun time at the home arcade, right?

Now, take a look at the actual game.  It's... I SAID, LOOK UPON IT!!!!!  I mean, what is that?  Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh.  And I do like the fact that diagonal movement is allowed.  Also, don't get greedy when the thing chasing you is too close.  I like the inherent lesson there.  I mean, it'd be like if you're in a Baskin Robbins, and a policeman's there to take you away, but you go ahead and reach into one of the buckets for one last handful of ice cream before they throw you in the paddy wagon.  Idiotic move, right?  ON THE OTHER HAND, there's that whole pesky Basic (TM) angle as well.  See, grandchildren, apparently this was a game written in Basic, yet sold for $39.95, which means you have to have the Basic (TM) cartridge in the computer.  See, cartridges were... ah, skip it.  It's like a thumb drive, but you can't save any files onto it.  But I do like the fact that the edible Perimeter Walkers are a little smart; if you wait for it at its starting location to eat more, it moves!  Very mean.  I confess: I'm looking for some kind of shortcut.  I don't have any answers, any secret shortcuts to the Big Office at the end of the Crystal Staircase.  Meantime, why not have a little fun diversion to take my mind off the Eternal Struggle for a few minutes?

Tutti Frutti's official home at Atarimania... I'm assuming that Adventure International was the original publisher

NOT in the Mushca collection yet!!!

Atari Emulator ---> Final Legacy

 "Miscellaneous" is a good way to put it.  I can't believe I haven't geeked out about this one yet!  Another important part of my ill-spent childhood.  Note to self: take better notes during childhood.  Sure, the game seems silly and obnoxious now, but it was the Cold War, my friends.  Games like "Final Legacy" were the only thing standing between peace and a permanent nuclear winter.  But Carl Sagan got the ball rolling, and Sting's 1985 song "Russians" also helped.  Looking back, this game reminds me of Atari's very superior "The Last Starfighter."  It's so good, it's almost like it's not an Atari game at all!  Where's the clunky scrolling?  The overuse of player/missiles?  Different stories, but the game play is similar: a series of mini-games, and you have to go after the enemy bases.  You also get to blow up ships at sea.  Thank goodness you get a really nimble ship!  Either that, or the enemy torpedoes are just really, really slow.  And of course, a detail that only true Atari-heads will appreciate: when the big map goes from thin to thick, or Graphics 15 to Graphics 7.  I believe it was called a "display list interrupt."  They can be used for just about anything vertically-based, from rainbow colors to multiple player/missiles.  In this case, going from thin to thicker graphics.  This is the only (Atari) game I can think of that uses this technique.  I still can't wrap my head around C'est La Vie and, by extension, Star Maze, which seems to have two horizontal areas, unless the one on the right is all player-missiles?  Yeah, that must be it.

Final Legacy - Disk 141, Mushca

Atarimania home of Final Legacy... and here as well.  Also exists as a preliminary version (en)titled The Legacy.  For some reason, my version had no title sequence, and a different set of bells and whistles.

Atari Emulator ---> Vanguard

It's been a while since I geeked out about an Atari video game, and I don't want to fall completely out of practice!  So, despite the lack of genre description at Atarimania.com, it's Defender-ISH... I think I played this once on MAME, but didn't finish.  On the Atari, on the other hand, I played it a lot; probably too much.  There seems to be three speeds: fast, faster and way too fast.  Two levels, five or so zones... probably got the best music of any of these games!  Okay, best musical variety.  Almost every genre is represented here: patriotic, whimsical, boogie, New Age throb.  As for the ending with ... ugh... the "Big Boss," as we call them now.  I think we just called it the Last Level, and that was fine.  Was the game awesome or not?  That's all we talked about!  Can't talk; playing.  But now that we're a Smartphone-addicted, managerial-dependent species, it's "Big Boss" from now on.  And Vanguard's "Big Boss" is probably one of the most well-defended of the bosses.  I mean, think about it!  You got the top wall with teeny holes in it... two walls, and you really gotta be quick.  You got the side bullets, you got the bottom walls that trap you in.  I mean, if you don't get this guy within the first five seconds, you're basically screwed.  I never tried the "Single Shot" mode when I would play this game on an actual Atari computer, and it's probably why I'm where I am today.  Make the tough choices now, kids.

Vanguard at Atarimania

Mushca Disk 47 - Vanguard, amongst others... Dimension X is basically Vanguard, but in 3D... Attack of the Mutant Camels is also a Defender-ish side-scroller... and who doesn't like a little Candi now and again?  Wait a sec...

Okay, I'll Bite, So To Speak

 I mean, the only answer is 2 and 3, right? ...hmm!  Or should it be 3, THEN 2?  Maybe just 1 and 4... I mean, Paula Deen already tried 4 and 9, and we all saw how that turned out.  Not well.  But you can obviously see why I had to post this.

Anybody Else Tired of These Ads?

 I'm sure the games are wonderful and all that, but... or maybe I'm just jealous that the old Atari 8-bits couldn't really handle a game like that.  Also, apologies to anyone I played Facebook Pillow Fights with, or tried to poke.  At least with pokes, there aren't extra levels... levels of pokes.  Pillow Fights had levels!  Bigger pillows, different stuffing, more expensive pillowcases, American-made stitching from unionized labor, on and on it goes, and round and round.  Also, help me come up with a catchy ___ and ___ phrase to call these affairs.  Lava and Stick?  Gate and Fluid?  Valve and Liquid Danger?