Advert --> Most Realistic Game (of 2023)

..............am I the only one who sees the irony here?

Bounty Bob, Level 21 - Rest Stop #2

Once again... not always the best colors. Well, the first thing you're going to want to do is use the transporters right away, and beam yourself to the Number 2 booth, because... yup, you guessed it, if you just stand there, a mutant will gitcha. Takes about five seconds, but you can count on it. This one's not as fun as level 17... nor should they be. It's like how you get stuck at level 'Z' on Dandy. Nice at first, but soon you realize there were other things you wanted to do with this finite life of yours. I don't want to spoil things for you with this 36-year-old video game on a relatively ancient platform... well, okay, one thing. See that noose-looking thing? Sure, it's worth a lot of points, but it ends up killing you, so don't go for it. Also, notice on the left side of the screen the slide. What's the deal? It's got a platform in it! Well, how are you supposed to get to the one that's sticking out? Sorry, you're just gonna have to find out for yourself. Don't worry so much!

Bounty Bob, Level 20 - Mobile Suction Unit

The colors of these mazes isn't always the best. To keep the game play fresh, the colors are selected randomly. Sometimes the color of the top of the platform closely matches the color of Bounty Bob's feet, so if you're trying to do Level 9 and you think you're standing on the edge of the platform, well... look out. As for this level, it's a completely silly gimmick that, sadly, only has the one level. For some reason, it put me in mind of this. But that's just me. And once again, the whole affair's really taxing the Atari's computational power. Hard to imagine playing this one on a 1200XL. And even though this level seems easy, there's enough tight jumps and a few tighter corners to insure that you're going to lose the first few times you try it. Don't you hate it when you realize, oh... I should've done that the first time! Or you figure out what part of the level to do last a little too late. Just remember what Michael Abrash said about ... something about hard-fought knowledge. For instance, one of my actual goals is to learn either Blender (TM) or maybe jMonkeyEngine (C). Both 3D modeling programs... both incredibly hard. Where's an unpaid intern when you need one? Otherwise, a pretty ordinary level, but that's a fair trade-off: an ordinary level with one extraordinary gimmick.

Bounty Bob, Level 19: The Sliding Candelabra

The title's a little misleading; that's all I'll say about it. A bit of a throwback to Miner 2049er's Level 5, if memory serves. Also, the grain elevator from Bounty Bob level 6 makes a triumphant return, thank God!  So far, I haven't lost as many lives with the grain elevator on this level than I have on Level 6.  Apparently, Bounty Bob can't jump up as quickly as the grain elevator moves, so you trip over it, and fall off the edge to your doom.  This one's a lot like 14, as there are a lot of little jumps to be made.  It might lull you into a false sense of security, so BE CAREFUL!!!!!

Will a mutant kill you if you just stand there?  Yes, but only if you stand there for about 28 seconds.

Bounty Bob, Level 18: Super Energy Food Bars

That's right, back to this thing.  I had a bad realization one or two soirée ago: I'm just not that good of a gamer.  And Bounty Bob Strikes Back! has certainly put my  (gaming) patience to the test.  My original plan was to not use any shortcuts to beat this game.  I think I did pretty good, though!  I didn't use any "saved states," but I did rely on a few of the game's seven short cuts.  I mean, even with a level like this one that seems to be pretty easy and simple... well, it seems like I need to play it about a dozen times to really understand the rhythm of the level, or find a strategy I can really get comfortable with... have I mentioned how much I miss Doom / Doom II lately?  I'm also quite conservative as a gamer: once I get a strategy for a level, I don't like to drift too far from it.  And seeing as how each time I play the game it takes about 30-40 minutes, well... I suddenly realized I had other things I wanted to do with my life.  Sleeping, for one thing!  Can't stay up all night and take naps in High School English class anymore, after all.  Now, some of you out there might think that fourteen energy bars is too many... no?  Just me?  Okay, I wasn't sure.  Boy, the team who programmed this sequel to Miner 2049'er really thought of everything!  Whether it was the slightly clumsy way of making your jumps less than a full jump, or realizing that Level 10 of Miner 2049'er is really impossible because of all the short jumps you have to make... see, in Level 10... or is it Zone 10?  Are the different levels 'zones' or 'levels'?  I forget.  ANYWAY, in levels 1 to 9 you go slow, but in Level 10 you run twice as fast, and your jumps are also longer.  Oh, and there's a nasty, fatal surprise in the lower right-hand corner of the level if you dare to venture all the way over there.  Real mean!  You'll see if you try it.

Will a mutant kill you if you just stand there?  Very much so!  In fact, if you don't move in two seconds or so, it'll happen!

Atari Emulator -> Synapse Software's "Survivor" by Richard Carr

As opposed to the popular '80s band, or the popular reality show.  This is one I didn't have in the glory days, when I had an actual Atari computer... of course, the real Atari purists would probably question whether or not the 1200XL counts.  Well, at some point, you want something more powerful than the 400 (love that keyboard!).  WAY more powerful than the Vic 20.  Why not just get an Altair 8800 while you're at it?

...sorry, got off track again.  Well, what can you say about Richard Carr's "Survivor"?  Part Bosconian, part Astro Chase... familiar, yet something completely unique.  So far, I couldn't get past Level 3.  It's kind of a shame to destroy all the guns of these enemy fortifications, seeing as how they can also destroy the endless army of free-floating player/missile ships that come after you!  No, this is more of a young man's game; the older I get, the less my frail heart can take the ceaseless throbbing of those aforementioned free-floating ships.  I hate to see what Level 7 is like!  See, this is why I'm not a true gamer.  True gamers would beat Level 7 of this game, the Expert level of Shamus, Level 6 of Protector II, what have you.  I was able to beat Level 1!  Well worth it, too.  For my money, though, Carr's other Synapse game, Air Support, is the real classic.  I played that one a lot on the 1200XL for some reason.  And yet, joining the Army was never a priority for me.  I'm full of contradictions that way.

Atarimania home of Survivor

Mushca Disk 82

Atari Emulator -> Anthony Ku's Mr. M

Coulda sworn I did this one already! Guess not. Of course, it is kind of tricky to do a text search for a phrase like "Mr. M." Spoiler Alert: we never do find out what the "M" in "Mr. M" stands for, but judging from the "plot description" of the game... mastication? Munch? Munchies? Massive appetite? A brief search at thesaurus.com (bet THAT site name cost someone a pretty penny!) quickly reveals that a single word starting with "m" is just not enough to convey the madness behind this slight twist on that old gaming trope, Pac-Man. Things were so much simpler back then, until it briefly tried to join forces with pinball. But Mr. Ku's variation adds some fine complications to the Pac-Man legend. For instance: what if the game board isn't strictly a maze that fills each corner of the board? And what if it's not completely full of dots? Alas, there's no goodies to eat here, like cherries and metal keys. And why does Pac-Man never have to stop and... you know, take a shi... I mean, a Number Two? You would think... and why is there no facility where Pac-Man has to run to as fast as he can before making a mess in his pants? And why does Pac-Man not wear pants to begin with? ...what else? I must be forgetting something. Oh, right. Unlike most Atari games, Mr. M features a nice summary of your goal in the game on the title screen. There are no fancy options: no second player, no progressive levels of difficulty, just jump right into the deep end of this pool and get cracking. Also, Pac-Man doesn't have a "hunger" deadline to meet when getting those last few dots in the corner that you should've gotten a while ago. The programmers figured, and figured rightly, that struggling with the four ghosts would be challenge enough.
Speaking of which, on the plus side, you don't have four ghosts constantly following you(r ass) in "Mr. M." No, you get enemies that come flying in from the left and right sidelines. If you're lucky, and NOT FULL, having to make a beeline for the game's many toilets... sometimes you can even eat the bad guys that fly at you. But be careful! You have to line yourself up just right; if you've got baddies flying in from the left at your head, you'll soon have baddies flying in from the right at your feet, and they'll getcha! And like all of the great games, with each new level comes a new responsibility. Level 2, well... you have to learn to duck and walk at the same time. Alas, you can't do three things at once, so you have to unduck yourself to get at the food in a tight corner. Level 3 features one-way ramps and warps that take you from the right side of the screen to the left... I'll let you struggle with that one. Level 4 features radioactive walls; love those. Level 5 is kind of a bonus round, which is good, because Level 6 is pretty wicked in its design. I forgot how tough it was! Had to use Saved States to finally solve it, and just barely at that. Basically, Level 6 requires you to do some critical thinking and planning, timing your rapid hunger just right so that you don't starve so quickly to death. And like all the greats... the only other one I can think of off the top is Dark Star... you leave the fans hungering for more. In this case, we only get a brief glimpse of Level 7, and then it's right back to Level 1. It's an okay game; its strength is in its playability, but... I wouldn't try to flip the score on this one. What can I say?

Atarimania's home for Mr. M
Mushca (AKA Homesoft) Disk 30

I think this is my new favo(u)rite YouTube (TM)(C)(R) channel: Crazy 80s Games. And what's one of the games? Mr. M!!! He's probably got the right attitude, as he only made it to level 2. Best part of the video? Discovering the toilet, of course. I thought video games were supposed to protect me from reality!