I'll try going back to "Compose" view for this one. Whelp, 'tis been a while since I really geeked out about the Atari. I know... sad, isn't it? People usually think I'm a Vic-20 kind of guy. Anyway, I made the mistake of trying to finish Gordon Eastman's other classic game, Star Maze. I only dabbled in it a little bit, but I remembered my training. If you're in between two walls that have the same pattern, you're headed for a dead end. At least in Star Maze, you can bounce your spaceship off the walls! C'est La Vie is a little harsher; damn near constant trips to the hospital because of the walls, the constant robberies, the Tax Man. Oh well. At least he tries to be consistent, right? Decent gameplay if you want to work on your memory. As you may recall, there's more or less a map in C'est La Vie, but in Star Maze... no map! How will you remember where home base is? And how will you get those crucifix-shaped "jewels" back there to get more fuel? So you can go back out and get more jewels? What a vicious cycle. One interesting facet of gameplay is the enemies. Kinda clunky, but I won't complain. There's the asteroids to contend with. Probably better not to shoot them at all. In fact, you learn pretty quickly that there are some enemies you shouldn't shoot, especially those... the "Wall Clingers," for lack of a better / more official term. There's no manual for the game at Atarimania, alas. No painting by "Ross." Thankfully, I was able to collect all the jewels before the high score board filled up. Spoiler Alert: I think my efforts to do this were worth way way more than 500 points, but whatever. Still not as fun as Bolo, but hey. We're Atari gamers. We're used to disappointment!
And then, there's Defender's skankier cousin Stargate. Very popular in the arcades, if memory serves. It's been a while since I've dreamt about the arcade! As with most attempts to translate, or "port" arcade games to the Atari 8-bit family of computers, its limitations are inevitably too much. They just can't recreate something like Crystal Castles, or something even more reliant on fast processors and large memory chips like Marble Madness, though it doesn't stop people from trying! Which is why the translation of Stargate, for me personally, is more disappointing than Defender. Less is more. Stargate is more colorful, I'll give you that. I like the spinning saw blades!
And finally, a game even lamer than Harvey Wallbanger is simply called Stars... oh, Harvey Wallbanger is from ANALOG Computing? I stand corrected then. Their games are of an even higher quality than Antic! And Antic! was pretty damn good. Compute?... eh. I think ANALOG was the only magazine that didn't have the exclamation point. Well, Stars can't be found at Atarimania... but Froggie can! And for bonus points, its demented cousin, Princess and (the) Frog. Good ol' Romox; a bit of a lummox. Awful game, but everyone somehow ended up with a copy of it. Quick to play if you have it in cassette format! But Stars does ask an interesting mathematical question. Let's say you have a version of the game where you score points merely for standing still, as the "stars" bounce around around you. Is there anywhere on the game "board" where you can stand and be safe all the time? There doesn't seem to be! That nasty programmer thought of everything. If memory serves, there are six stars, and they all seem to be placed so that no corner, place near the walls, or nice spots for a picnic in the middle remain long untouched by the stars' orbits. Sure, you could cheat and hack into the game and erase your avatar, but what on Earth is the fun of that? Or maybe make it smaller! So that the question can be answered: what's the minimum size of an avatar that can stay in one spot and remain untouched? I'll leave that to finer minds than mine to figure out. I need to get to bed, and you probably do too.
(later on) I should probably give a shout-out... sorry, Shout-Out (TM)(C)(R) to the Atari Star Trek video game. They at least tried to get the font right on the title screen. Actually, it's a pretty decent actioner! It has the decimal level structure of Buck Rogers; level 1.1, 1.2, like that. Rare for any game as far as I know. The game makers don't realize how nerdy us gamers can get, you see. It's a 3-D shoot 'em up game, even though the 3D window's pretty small, but I think that's part of the charm. I do like the bonus enemy ship that mimics your movement, what can I say? I'd have to get into it some more, but the point structure is almost exponential, and I came damn close to a million points once upon a time. Ah, the illusion of a high score; what the gamer lives for. Plattermania also has exponential points... sorry, PlatterMania. But who wants to play PlatterMania? Actually, PlatterMania a good lesson for all of youse out there who still want to be in showbiz. Like any other job, it's a lot of boring tasks, mostly unpaid for people you used to envy, to get to the big payoff... an Oscar (C)(R)(TM)?
Gordon Eastman's "Star Maze" - Mushca Disk 154, Atarimania
Williams' Stargate - Mushca Disk 172, Atarimania
Star Trek (TM)(R)(C) - Mushca Disk 58, Atarimania
Mushca Disk 118 - Lots of 'Star' titles
