Sunday, September 21, 2014

Dangerous Dave

There once was a man named Dave... no, better stop there.  Don't wanna violate my parole again.  Seriously, though, what kind of video game blog is it where you look up the word 'dangerous' and come up empty?  Well, it's time to remedy that!... I forget how.  Oh, right.  Dangerous Dave.  Not the follow-up episodes available on The Book of Id, but the DOS original.  Why, I set up my Windows XP computer, almost just for that reason!  Incidentally, even though you can go through the door on Level 6 before getting the grail, you shouldn't.  Sure, you get taken to a Warp Zone, but it also causes the game to crash.  Sure, you can still exit the game by hitting 'Esc', but the game's pretty much finished at that point.

Dangerous Dave on the YouTubes... dayamn, YouTube really does have everything.  How about Slordax?  ...yup!  Slordax!  That's how you know your game's successful, kids, when there's YouTube videos of it on YouTube.  Sokoban, for God's sake!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Adventures of Micro-Man, Adventure 1: Crazy Computers!!!!!

Apparently, the gap between what I THOUGHT I've blogged about and what I've ACTUALLY blogged about is still quite wide.  But one thing's for sure: the size of this image file is about six times larger than all the files necessary to run Micro-Man 1, a game by that bloody genius Brian Goble.  His world corporate headquarters seems to have moved from just under the bridge in Seattle, Washington to Redmond, the original home of all things computers, and subsequently, all things beta testing.  They must be doing something right!
As usual, the map here is still a little bit incomplete, so if you take the lower, less-fun path, be sure to take the third zapper to get to the Guided Missiles and Large Energy.  Or, if you're still flying high from the superJump boost, do what I do and just go around the long way!  Either way, you can avoid that first fork in the road.  As much as I like switchbacking and getting hit by those mouths that cling to the wall, I've decided to take the upper path, and drop down to the part with the large energy and power shot.  Fan shot... please.  Ooh!  And I just found out that... nah, you get to figure out that one yourself.  As for me, I can beat it in ten minutes now!  Nyaah nyaah

YouTube version

Official online home of Microman: Hipsoft Games

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

ClubWPT online poker

 Actually, it's more for my friend, really.  Of course, they always complain that they like the Zynga poker better, but they still insist on playing this poker, the official online poker of the WPT.  The interface is bad, the graphics aren't superior like Zynga, it's not as fun, and it's too much like real poker.  But they keep playing, God bless 'em!
Here's my complaint, though, and maybe one of the nerds over there can tweak the JavaScript or add a couple lines of CSS3 or something.  I keep having to log out and log back in if I'm logged in.  See, my roommate's very lazy and can't seem to do any of this stuff themselves, so it's always up to me.  But if I'm already logged in and I hit that blue "Play Now" button, it doesn't take me to the various lobbies!  I have to log out, sign back in and retype my password (another complaint) and THEN hit the "Play Now" button to be taken to the three lobbies.  I know, I know, you gotta tweak the SQL on the server to fix it, and that's not your department.  Well, I gotta hand it to you.  When I was briefly in IT, I had to know everything.  Absolutely everything, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I guess I shouldn't have been let in the door in the first place without the ten certifications that every IT person seems to need these days... okay, back to Candy Crush.  The new levels came out today, you know!

Video Game Babes

Well, that's one thing to differentiate the video games of old from the new ones.  Sex appeal!  I'm waiting for them to get the interface right, though... they should say "Fight.  Farm.  F... Make love to the girl of your dreams."  You know, all that Ernest Hemingway crap.