Failure

Welp, I failed.  I was in the sauna at the gym today and two old guys were talking.  One was lamenting that he ever bought a Nintendo... whichever (he rattled off a bunch of names like "GameCube" and "64"), and the other said that he never even liked Pac-Man.  Guess you just gotta pick your poison in this life... whether it's movies, comic books, or video games.  Also, I'm sitting here in the dark, cross-legged on my floor, with a laptop on a banker's box... but on the bright side, I did just catch a flea!  I tried to kill it by rubbing it on the non-keyboard part of the laptop, but it's too smooth.  God, I hate fleas.  Miniature versions of the alien in the Alien movies, only much worse.  Having the cat is almost not worth it, I dare say!

Official federal Typing Test game (suggested)

...yup, there it is, all right.  Do well enough on this test, and you'll get to type 40 words per minute for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for the rest of your life, for $2,000 a month.  What's not to like?  Of course, typing 40 words per minute for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for the rest of your life... that's a young man's game.  They don't want some old piece of...

My prayers have been answered!

And I have the nerve to call myself a programmer!  Look what someone came up with!  A complete Gateway to Apshai map!  Complete with bug.  Apparently, the original programmers weren't able to make their own logic airtight.  Still, who can blame them?  I mean, to cram 8 levels, 16 dungeons and 7,680 rooms into 24K?  Something's bound to give... I mean, got to give.

Games That Exist

Oh, I don't doubt that the game exists.  Of course, its makers are finding that players aren't using it as they originally intended...............