What's that old expression? If you invent an MS-DOS emulator, Microsoft's Lawyers (C)(TM)(R) will beat a path to your door, and probably sue... one garment or another off of you. But perhaps they're slightly protected by a new word: abandonware. The perfect word to describe how a whole subculture of games and other programs was finally thrown under the bus when aforementioned Microsoft (TM)(R)(C) decided to make those programs unrunnable. Probably for the best; I got tired of tinkering with that aspect of Windows (R)(C)(TM) anyway. You know, you have to go in and select the version of Windows (TM)(C)(R) that the program used to run fine on, and go from there.
Well, in my narrow travels I stumbled upon... well, I probably shouldn't say the website's name. I'll give you a hint, though: thank God for the Czech Republic! A new way to waste my increasingly finite time! They're all there, and a few that probably aren't. As readers of this thing might know, I try hard to be more adventurous, but I seem to rather quickly end up back to where I started. For example, of the thousands of games they have there, they still have the original Dangerous Dave (TM)(R)(C)! I've played the one or two follow-up adventures, but... somehow, just not the same. I'll gladly admit they're more dangerous, sure, but at my age I can only take so much danger, you know. Ooh! Let's see if they have Slordax... no Slordax! Wow. Once upon a time America Online (C)(TM)(R) had a bunch of MS-DOS games you could download and play; sadly, none of them were satisfying enough to pay for the special publisher's version. I probably shouldn't confess that.
One game I recalled that is available is something called Jetpack (TM)(R)(C) and Jetpack: Christmas Edition (C)(TM)(R). It's like if Lode Runner (C)(TM)(R) were more fun to play. Of course, Jetpack only has 100 levels, and I think the Christmas version only has 10. For some reason, I thought there were bigger screens you scrolled through... not there, there aren't! Well, the treasure hunt for the lost games will have to wait, but in the meantime they have the only thing I ever wanted back. Should I just tell you what it is? Doom II (C)(TM)(R)! That's right! And sure, to a lesser extent, regular Doom (C)(R)(TM). I do like the music on that first level. Sure, they don't have all the weapons that Doom II (R)(TM)(C) has, but it's still got the showmanship that all the great games have. Games seem a little too needy these days or something. I mean, even Pac-Man (TM)(R)(C) was finite, right? You could only score something like 3 million points on it; I was never that ambitious anyway. Which reminds me: I gotta check in. Got to check in at least once every twenty-four hours with some of these games, right? More anon.
