Another Hasty Update

Man, it's going to be a tough winter...........................

The Cutting Edge

I mean, I would be negligent in my blogging duties if I didn't blog about this.  Of course, at my age, drinking too much water during the day keeps me up all night.  Having too much prune juice tends to lead to the problem seen in the enclosed photo.  Almost makes me wish I had a skill like plumber or electrician... on the other hand, what clout do any of them have on the world stage?  In case you missed the full video, the avatar's solution to this septic nightmare... incidentally, the bad guys must be down there with a fire hose.  Usually when there's a back-up like this, it's a slow rise to the top; at least, in my limited, mostly theoretical experience.  It's a slow nightmare rather than the brown geyser pictured here.  Anyway, this blue-eyed brunette avatar's solution is to punch his way through the wall, then plummet several stories to safety... I mean, sure, he'll be squished to death on the ground below, but at least he'll be relatively clean!  Relatively?  Well... there's bound to be some splashback.  The only Atari game I can think of with a toilet was good ol' Mr. M.  Yeah, clearly the Atari games lived in a fantasy world with no real-world problems like this.  Usually it's just re-fueling on time if it's a racing game.

Mr. M at Atarimania

Mr. M - Mushca Disk 30

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 14: Hydraulic Lifts

Finally completed it!  Ah, now it's like the old days, staying up late with the Atari, trying not to get caught... sometimes I dream about that old room over there on XXX XXXX XXXXXX Road, in XXXX XXXXXXX, XXXXXXXX .... That's what's so great about dreams.  Me, myself, I tend not to question the reality of them.  Must be why I'm such a pushover in real life.  Anyway, as for this level 14, I do hate to spoil the surprise, but what the hell.  See, there are these pneumatic tubes at the top of the screen.  Turns out you don't actually need to use them!  Always love a sleight of hand like that.  The hydraulic lifts here are a little less friendly than that one in... I believe it's Level 7 of regular Bounty Bob, AKA Miner 2049er.  Anyway, I believe I'm on the right track, psychologically, not starting from a saved state to beat this game.  That Robot Factory one?  Different story... strange!  Must've been going through one of my anti-blogging phases.  Perhaps you can relate... I mean, does EVERYTHING have to be blogged about?  ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING?  And do people have time to read, re-read or even edit this crap?  Can't even remember what that game was called.  But one way in which it's different from Bounty Bob: you can bounce off the edge of the screen, and you have to use this game hack in one of the tougher levels.  If memory serves, there's 26 levels, A to Z... and as all you skilled hackers know, I've still got all the saved states!  This is why I get nowhere in life.  Okay, time to get to sleep.

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 13: Rest Stop #1

Boy, this level must've been easy or something!  I'll bet you, though, that I'll lose some lives on this one upon future playings.  So as the name implies, the level's not terribly tough... but you do gotta move fast!  Not a lot of time on this one!  Sorry... ***SPOILER ALERT***.  What else?  Thankfully, that double slide wasn't too tough to figure out.  Now, let's see if I can actually remember what to do.

Will You Get Killed (By a Mutant) By Just Standing In Place?  Nope!

Just as a refresher...

Bounty Bob Strikes Back at Atarimania

Bounty Bob Strikes Back at Mushca: Disk #49 (my preference... I'll confess)

Bounty Robert Strikes Back, Level 12: Acid Rain

Hot Ziggety!  I'm doing great tonight.  Probably should try to get to bed soon, however.  You know, I can't think of any popular games on Facebook, let alone the Atari, that has anything remotely to do with the environment.  Well, maybe Farmville 3, if they have Carbon Credits or something.  And if they give thought to importing water for all that stuff you grow, or animals to feed, or Macaroni and Cheese trees that need harvesting.  

Come to think of it, nuclear waste has a rich tradition in Atari games.  Take the James Hague classic Uncle Henry's Nuclear Waste Dump, par ejemple.  And of course, the instant case and its much more beloved predecessor, Miner 2049er.  No, for the most part, video games aren't concerned with the state of the Earth's environment.  They are an environment unto themselves, and you can usually start over from scratch, as with Boulder Dash and others.  And all the while, the eyestrain takes its usual toll.

Guess I'm getting too far afield here.  I think the "acid rain" in this level is my new, favourite obstacle of them all.  Reminds me of this one classic game where you have to guide a space shuttle through a series of moving walls.  Or the walls you have to shoot through in Shamus 1, then try like hell to get out of the way of all the bad guys that INSTANTLY APPEAR AND KILL YOU!!!!!!  And then of course, there's a mini-level in Castles and Keys that's similar.  Otherwise, sort of an ordinary level.  But that's good, right?  Good to have some balance.  And I'm finally starting to develop a little stamina.  I think I finally made it to this level with at least three lives.  That level 5 (Jumping 101) is still a bit of a mother, and of course my favourite way to die: on Level 6.  You're riding the "grain elevator" up, and you try jumping off.  But instead of jumping off, you end up falling off of it!  Making a nice Bounty Bob pancake way down below.  Now, when you jump left or right and make a Bounty Bob pancake, you're probably asking yourself, why, Video Game Lunatic!  Shouldn't the pancake be spread out in said direction?  Alas, it's the mystery of the Atari player / missiles, my friends.  I bet the Commodore could handle such grotesqueries, but not the Atari player / missiles.  No sir.

Will you get killed by a Mutant if you just Stand There?  Maybe.  I didn't check yet.  But it is kind of a good idea to haul ass before the first wave of "acid rain" finally drips down to the bottom of the screen.

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 11: The Super Slippery Slide

Whelp, it's true!  This is about as full as one screen can get with the trademark Bounty Bob slides.  Thankfully, it's not quite as tough as Level 8, at least in terms of last chances to eliminate the dreaded mutant baddies.

...you know, it's the damnedest thing!  So I'm up to Level 11 now, and I usually have just enough lives to complete the level... but not the next one.  I don't know what you'd call that phenomenon... other than the fact that I'm a loser.  Procrastination, probably.  Asymptotic success is more like it.  I did mean to keep better track of where I get killed.  Level 5 is still  a pretty nasty place.  Jumping 101?  Please; more like the Jumping 103 midterm.  It makes Level 5 in Miner 2049'er look like child's play.

Will You Get Killed (By a Mutant) By Just Standing In Place?  Just barely not.

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 10: The Gravity Lift

Love this one.  I should probably mention that I do like the wide variety of "power pills" this game has.  Even more than Miner 2049er.  For example, the steaming piles of ... I guess they're donkey manure.  What else could they be?  I can't remember the last time I played a game with this kind of lift in it... maybe Zorro.  Or maybe I'm thinking of the lift and pulley system that covers two screens.  I cheated a little bit to get to this level... okay, a lot.  As much as I could, without using saved states.  Also, what's the point of having a Top 10 High Scores board in an Atari game, unless you can save them to disk?  Other than Lode Runner, who else would do that?  But those were the days... ah, those were the days.  You'd have to hook up with other people through a "bulletin board" over a 300 baud modem if you're lucky.  And even then, it's tricky to match high scores.

Will You Get Killed (By a Mutant) By Just Standing In Place?  Yes!  Yes you will.  But we can laugh about it now.

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 9: Bonus Level #1

Note: this is not like a Boulder Dash bonus level, where you're almost expected to lose a life.  No, the only bonus here is that it's not so tough, but you do get to practice your long jumps.  No finessing this time!  Also, there's a new gift: the canary in a coal mine.

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 8: Luxury Transporters

Sort of an easy one!  Kinda nice for a change.  Helps break up the tedium.  Spoiler Alert: there are five, count 'em, FIVE, numbered transports.  And they're an improvement on the original Miner 2049'er, because there's no longer a time delay.  When you use a teleporter booth in Miner 2049'er, they overheat, and it takes a few seconds for them to cool down.  Also, they could only be on the same vertical strip, due to the limitations of Atari player/missiles.  No limitations this time!  God bless those Display List Interrupts... what else?  What else to say?  I'm kicking ass tonight!  God bless these days off, but I've got a complaint, God... why do the days after a holiday have to be so tough?  Thankfully, we've got a lot of eager employees this holiday season, so if one person quits this time, it might not send the whole office into a tailspin.

Bounty Bob Strikes Back, Level 7: Yukon's Penthouse

Oh, apparently someone's already done the heavy lifting for me here.  Wait a minute!... MY LINK!  My link is RUINED!!!!  Guess I better get back to work then.  It's taking longer than I thought because I'm trying to pass these levels without using any cheats, like saved states or... basically, just saved states.  After all, for advanced players of Bounty Bob Strikes Back, you get at least one cheat on Level One.  No wonder they use the font from the arcade version of Crystal Castles!

STELLA! Or Returning to the 2600

 At long last!  The "Racing" feature of Candy Crush Soda has come to the realm of Candy Crush Jelly.  It's times like this when I go back, mostly because I realized I still had my old 2600 emulator with the bad sound on the hard drive.  It's all there!  Demons to Diamonds (TM)... more or less.  Gotta fix that.  Space Invaders with the farting spaceship, Defender, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man... 729 ROMs in all, and no time to play them.  I had to try and beat Demon Attack, of course.  I think it's the eighth level with the teentsy, weentsy aliens that still turn into two bats.  That level got to me, but I tried again and somehow triumphed!  Nice variation on Space Invaders; in the Space Invaders canon, it carves out its own niche somewhere between Galaxian and Phoenix.  I think we can all agree that Phoenix blows chunks, especially given the import given to the phrase "Rising like a Phoenix" in our culture... okay, just played it again.  Doesn't blow as many chunks as I thought.  Besides!  What's more thrilling to a gamer than blowing off the left wing of a demon, then the right wing, then the demon head itself?

Windows -> 3d Pinball: Space Cadet

 

Come gather 'round, Grandchildren, and listen to this old fogie's tales of how Windows used to be more fun.  How you could waste hours upon hours on the simple joys of their built-in technologies like Solitaire and Hearts and Minesweeper.  And they are technologies; make sure to call them that during your job interviews.  

Now they're all gone!  You want your gaming fun, and it's Facebook and Facebook alone where you'll find it.  Or maybe... what's the new GameBoy?  Is it all just on your Smartphone (TM) now?  Anyway, a few Windows iterations ago, they had this here 3D Pinball deely-bopper... and no, it wasn't real 3D, just this flat 2D thing, but it's not bad!  If you're in to that sort of thing.  Reminds me of Atari's terrific Super Sprint video game; that kind of 3D.  And, in addition to being impossible and frustrating, like real pinball, there's also power-ups, different levels, different hierarchies.  Every bumper and ramp's got some kind of system, much like the Sock and Pillow Fight games on Facebook... is poking an actual game yet?  No one does that anymore?  Thank God!  I've only made it to the rank of Ensign, so clearly I don't have what it takes to make it as a space cadet, not like Richard Branson et alia.  But they do keep pretty good track of high scores; unfortunately, you have to add your own timestamp to them.  But the big, big question is: how did I resurrect this game?  I managed to save enough of the old game files to do it; I know, shame on me.  Whelp, I figure the damage is pretty localized; as for Cinematronics making a buck, well... sorry, guys, but the work's going to really have to be its own reward here.

Atari Emulator -> Tutti Frutti

Since I'm running out of Atari games to geek out about, why not pick this one?  I may have seen the ads in one of the old Atari magazines, either Compute or Antic, as those were the ones I was very familiar with.  Can't even remember how; must've been that Atari guy our family hooked up with oh so many moons ago.  But again, like Kid Grid, note the disparity.

So, this is an original Ross painting... that's Scott Ross, not the zen figure of Bob Ross, everyone's favorite dead painter.  You got the big happy face, the promise of ice cream, a birthday cake, and even though this painting's got more colors than the Atari could actually handle, there's the promise of a fun time at the home arcade, right?

Now, take a look at the actual game.  It's... I SAID, LOOK UPON IT!!!!!  I mean, what is that?  Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh.  And I do like the fact that diagonal movement is allowed.  Also, don't get greedy when the thing chasing you is too close.  I like the inherent lesson there.  I mean, it'd be like if you're in a Baskin Robbins, and a policeman's there to take you away, but you go ahead and reach into one of the buckets for one last handful of ice cream before they throw you in the paddy wagon.  Idiotic move, right?  ON THE OTHER HAND, there's that whole pesky Basic (TM) angle as well.  See, grandchildren, apparently this was a game written in Basic, yet sold for $39.95, which means you have to have the Basic (TM) cartridge in the computer.  See, cartridges were... ah, skip it.  It's like a thumb drive, but you can't save any files onto it.  But I do like the fact that the edible Perimeter Walkers are a little smart; if you wait for it at its starting location to eat more, it moves!  Very mean.  I confess: I'm looking for some kind of shortcut.  I don't have any answers, any secret shortcuts to the Big Office at the end of the Crystal Staircase.  Meantime, why not have a little fun diversion to take my mind off the Eternal Struggle for a few minutes?

Tutti Frutti's official home at Atarimania... I'm assuming that Adventure International was the original publisher

NOT in the Mushca collection yet!!!

Atari Emulator ---> Final Legacy

 "Miscellaneous" is a good way to put it.  I can't believe I haven't geeked out about this one yet!  Another important part of my ill-spent childhood.  Note to self: take better notes during childhood.  Sure, the game seems silly and obnoxious now, but it was the Cold War, my friends.  Games like "Final Legacy" were the only thing standing between peace and a permanent nuclear winter.  But Carl Sagan got the ball rolling, and Sting's 1985 song "Russians" also helped.  Looking back, this game reminds me of Atari's very superior "The Last Starfighter."  It's so good, it's almost like it's not an Atari game at all!  Where's the clunky scrolling?  The overuse of player/missiles?  Different stories, but the game play is similar: a series of mini-games, and you have to go after the enemy bases.  You also get to blow up ships at sea.  Thank goodness you get a really nimble ship!  Either that, or the enemy torpedoes are just really, really slow.  And of course, a detail that only true Atari-heads will appreciate: when the big map goes from thin to thick, or Graphics 15 to Graphics 7.  I believe it was called a "display list interrupt."  They can be used for just about anything vertically-based, from rainbow colors to multiple player/missiles.  In this case, going from thin to thicker graphics.  This is the only (Atari) game I can think of that uses this technique.  I still can't wrap my head around C'est La Vie and, by extension, Star Maze, which seems to have two horizontal areas, unless the one on the right is all player-missiles?  Yeah, that must be it.

Final Legacy - Disk 141, Mushca

Atarimania home of Final Legacy... and here as well.  Also exists as a preliminary version (en)titled The Legacy.  For some reason, my version had no title sequence, and a different set of bells and whistles.

Atari Emulator ---> Vanguard

It's been a while since I geeked out about an Atari video game, and I don't want to fall completely out of practice!  So, despite the lack of genre description at Atarimania.com, it's Defender-ISH... I think I played this once on MAME, but didn't finish.  On the Atari, on the other hand, I played it a lot; probably too much.  There seems to be three speeds: fast, faster and way too fast.  Two levels, five or so zones... probably got the best music of any of these games!  Okay, best musical variety.  Almost every genre is represented here: patriotic, whimsical, boogie, New Age throb.  As for the ending with ... ugh... the "Big Boss," as we call them now.  I think we just called it the Last Level, and that was fine.  Was the game awesome or not?  That's all we talked about!  Can't talk; playing.  But now that we're a Smartphone-addicted, managerial-dependent species, it's "Big Boss" from now on.  And Vanguard's "Big Boss" is probably one of the most well-defended of the bosses.  I mean, think about it!  You got the top wall with teeny holes in it... two walls, and you really gotta be quick.  You got the side bullets, you got the bottom walls that trap you in.  I mean, if you don't get this guy within the first five seconds, you're basically screwed.  I never tried the "Single Shot" mode when I would play this game on an actual Atari computer, and it's probably why I'm where I am today.  Make the tough choices now, kids.

Vanguard at Atarimania

Mushca Disk 47 - Vanguard, amongst others... Dimension X is basically Vanguard, but in 3D... Attack of the Mutant Camels is also a Defender-ish side-scroller... and who doesn't like a little Candi now and again?  Wait a sec...

Okay, I'll Bite, So To Speak

 I mean, the only answer is 2 and 3, right? ...hmm!  Or should it be 3, THEN 2?  Maybe just 1 and 4... I mean, Paula Deen already tried 4 and 9, and we all saw how that turned out.  Not well.  But you can obviously see why I had to post this.

Anybody Else Tired of These Ads?

 I'm sure the games are wonderful and all that, but... or maybe I'm just jealous that the old Atari 8-bits couldn't really handle a game like that.  Also, apologies to anyone I played Facebook Pillow Fights with, or tried to poke.  At least with pokes, there aren't extra levels... levels of pokes.  Pillow Fights had levels!  Bigger pillows, different stuffing, more expensive pillowcases, American-made stitching from unionized labor, on and on it goes, and round and round.  Also, help me come up with a catchy ___ and ___ phrase to call these affairs.  Lava and Stick?  Gate and Fluid?  Valve and Liquid Danger?

Atari Emulator -> Aquatron

A fine variation on Defender... got a bone to pick, Atarimania!  It should be part of that genre.  That genre called "Shoot 'Em Up! - Defender."  I mean, there it is, right at the top... oh wait, that's Crypts of Plumbous... oh, right.  I like it now.  I like my new, hacked version of it.  As for Dropzone, well... technically, it's a masterpiece, probably one of the slickest games ever made for the Atari, but I dunno... I mean, the best part of the game is when your character dies!  Isn't that ultimately wrong?

But Aquatron is a pretty unique game.  I can't think of another game where you fly a ship that can handle being in the air and then underwater.  No, "Spy Hunter" doesn't count; you have to pass through a thing to switch to boat mode.  There's even Hyperdrive if you go all the way to the top of the screen... ultimately, it doesn't save much time.  But it's still kinda nice!  The game play reminds me of Repton, only a little better.  Another aspect that makes Aquatron unique is that you've got your "home base" in the game.  A giant blimp will occasionally drop care packages for you.  You have to be careful not to shoot "home base;" otherwise, you destroy it... I'm not sure if it's permanent.  The game also keeps careful track of when you eliminate a particular class of enemy.  You got your choppers, your ... sea boats, eliminators?  Guess I better fire it up again.  You get a bonus for catching care packages that the enemy planes drop; when they land in the water, they turn into mini U-Boats you have to destroy.  The bonus isn't terribly worth it.  Still, fast-paced fun.  Can't believe I didn't post about this one already!  Shame on me.  Not even in my "Short Reviews" sections.  Now all I gotta do is play "Threshold" and "Marauder," and I've got all five Sierra On-Line games under my belt.  "Crossfire" is probably the all-time champ (for me) in terms of sheer game hours logged.

 Aquatron's home at Atarimania.com

Aquatron at Mushca - Disk 143

Atari Emulator - Tetris 3D

Time to gently venture out of my comfort zone.  I mean, like any gamer, of course I like Tetris.  But why just two dimensions?  Why not four?  I dunno... this one still looks kinda 2D-ish to me.  Okay, the 2D's in 3D, but still... also, I hate to nitpick, but the new computer's in the shop, so I plugged in the previous one, and somehow I don't think it's fair that every 20 minutes, I have to wait 5 for it to unfreeze.  Again, nitpicking.  

But the original point I was trying to make is probably that there's nothing new under the sun, but check out this pic!  It's the Atari emulator again!  Yes, some genius did the hard work and came up with a 5x5x8 3-dimensional version of Pajitnov's Tetris... hmm.  Has anyone ever combined Tetris and Missile Command?  Probably not.  And how would that even work?  Sure, Bernasek's.. sorry, J. Bernášek's Tetris 3D doesn't have much in the way of sound effects, and arguably no music, but you do get a little blip when you clear a slice!  A 5x5 slice.  I think it should be called that.  Anyway, got that out of my system.  And so, time to prepare myself for getting back to work.  Can he get his sleep patterns back to normal in two days?  Spoiler alert: Hell NO!

3D Tetris - 3x3x10... ALSO too fast!!  Just touch the |> at the upper left hand corner and begin! (Norton-safe link)

Tetris 3D - Mushca Disk 95

Tetris 3D at Atarimania.com, and... I hate to nitpick a second time, but I think 2D and 3D Tetris should have their own subcategories.  This one called Drop It! looks a lot like this one.  Same grid, but black and blue.  This Skulls game probably just has a 3D-ish background.  And that seems to be it!  2D Tetris is still the majority.