Sunday, October 9, 2011

Atari Emulator -> Tumble Bugs

Dang, that was fast! I'm already up to 4.8 million coins in Farmville. Less than a week, and I'll be able to expand my fu... my bloody English countryside by two plots. But just to show you what a pathetic old rocker I am, Tumble Bugs is one of those games that I thought was just so awesome because somebody was playing it at school somehow, and I didn't have full-on access to it, so I didn't know at the time what a letdown it really is. First of all, it's basically a Pac-Man ripoff without the excitement. Second, there's too many bugs that can trap you in too many dead ends. Some games don't want you to play them. Third.... nah, I guess those two complaints about cover it. I do like that the score decreases by one point a second, because we don't have enough reminders in our daily lives that someday each one of us is going to die, and that we have to make the best use of the time we have. Take Steve Jobs, for example. Everyone in the main stream is currently lighting their lighters and holding them up high for Steve Jobs. He was "the people's billionaire" (TM). He was like John Lennon... wait, what? Someone in the media said he was like John Lennon, except he was killed by cancer, not by a Nixon-funded assassin. In fact, the more one hears about Jobs, the less one is likely to like him all that much. When someone went to Jobs and told him they did a subroutine in three steps, Jobs would say "Do it in two." When someone went to Jobs and told him they did a subroutine in two steps, Jobs would say "Do it in one." Is this the kind of example we should all live by?... Yes, it is. Be more demanding of people. Make them reach for the stars. Say you're a kid with a messy room. If it takes you an hour to clean said room, do it in 30. If it takes you two hours to do your stupid math homework, do it in one. Do it on the bus ride home from school! Puke out the window if you have to, if you get carsick on the bus. Leave your mark on the world. If you're a homeless bum on the street, dance a sympathy jig. Dance two! Get your name out there! Network. Work together with your fellow bums. Innovate! Make a sign that says "It's for beer." Be honest. Work night shifts at the supermarket. Ask people for large amounts of money. Dream big! Ingratiate yourselves to rich lonely widows.
I'm sorry. That was very wrong of me. Steve Jobs was a great man, and he will be missed. Fu¢k Bill Gates, and fu¢k that Judas Wozniak. Jobs is the one.

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